Out-of-work guerrillas find solace online

No education in marketing, advertising, PR or design is complete without an extremely obnoxious foray into the world of guerrilla marketing. Whether you had that professor who explicitly required that you create something of a “guerrilla” nature, or you were that overzealous student who would rather Google marketing ideas than party on the weekends, I have no doubt that you’ve seen more photos of manhole covers, bus stop decorations and 3-D billboards than you care to remember.

I’ll admit that even I have multiple (extremely clever) examples of non-traditional campaign components in my book. But I can assure you these stunts are not what landed me a job at an agency that specializes in the unexpected.

I want you to think long and hard about the last time you saw a guerrilla marketing effort in-person. For the sake of this exercise, I want you to exclude publicity stunts (because they’re actually very traditional) and flash mobs (because I’m getting really tired of them). Now, if you have an image in your mind, I want you to think about what makes this effort so non-traditional.

Is it because the medium doesn’t fall into any of the usual spectra – print, broadcast, outdoor, online? Does the format stand out from other similar ads?

Are you starting to feel a little behind yet?

It’s no secret that marketers have done petty things to catch the eyes of big crowds, but the reality is that non-traditional marketing has become so traditional that nobody cares anymore.

With the rise of the Internet, the purpose of guerrilla efforts evolved from catching eyes to generating buzz. Then, non-traditional banner ads broke through to those who gave up their outside time to sit on their computers. Now, in a world where anyone can take the Internet with them wherever they go, social media reigns supreme, and people are rediscovering the great outdoors.

The only problem now is that nobody’s going to look up from their smartphone to see the life-sized bovine hanging off your billboard.

But really. Would anyone even be surprised to see that? The Internet brought a plethora of images into every home – both pleasant and horrific – and those people whose attention you’re trying so desperately to attract have seen it all. You’re wasting a lot of money.

To marketers, the Internet also brought unlimited places to place advertisements and unprecedented information regarding who sees them. So why are you exhausting your budget on a few seconds of interest that, yes, will be remembered slightly longer than a billboard, but will ultimately leave you clamoring for adjectives to justify ROI to your client or boss.

So I encourage you:

Students: Don’t waste your time looking at old campaigns unless it’s for a grade. If you have to do something guerrilla, for God’s sake, do not make a 3-D billboard.

Marketers: Stop trying so hard. You’re beginning to look desperate.

Professors: Quit it.

Now here’s a game. How many marketing buzzwords can you find in this blog post, and how many of them did you see on an exam?

Play to Win. Now.

By Mike Crawford

Those who follow sports know the big difference between a team that’s playing to win versus one that’s playing not to lose. The team trying to win is aggressive and proactive. It creates the action rather than waiting for the action to come to it. This allows the team to determine its own success. Conversely, the team playing not to lose hunkers down and just hopes the other guys screw up. With this passive approach, victory is not determined by the team’s ability, but by the opponent’s inability.

Advertising and public relations are critical to your company’s success. You cannot afford to sit back passively and wait for your customers to begin placing orders before you start an aggressive marketing communications program. And now is the time, as you’re planning next year’s budget, to commit to that plan.

If you truly want to increase your sales for next year, then include an advertising schedule in your budget. It’s that simple. There are so many reasons to advertise. If you don’t believe me, call me, and I’ll be happy to share them with you in person.

A public relations program for next year can help educate your target audiences on new products and services while supporting your sales process. It’s also a great way to increase your company’s credibility in the marketplace.

Other programs, like developing database and direct marketing campaigns are effective ways to move your audience. These vehicles allow you to be more aggressive and thorough in your messages to increase your response rates. These programs have another key benefit. They allow you to stay in front of your target audience and be a part of the buying decision.

Finally, do not forget to include Internet marketing in next year’s budget. Currently, it’s the best lead generation tool available. Your website design needs to be interesting, inviting and captivating. It is critical that your website content be thorough and keyword-rich. We have talked about Search Engine Optimization (SEO) in previous issues of the Technique newsletter, specifically here, but the topic merits further discussion. As you’re planning the 2006 budget, be sure to include funds to get your company on page one of search results when your prospects are searching online for a product or service like yours.

Remember, there are three types of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. To succeed, you need to be in the first group. You need to play to win. That starts today – while planning your 2006 advertising and public relations budget.

Wanna be quoted? Try speaking English.

By Michelle Metzger

The old adage “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink” rings quite true for us PR pros but in a slightly different way. We can get a client an interview, but we can’t talk for him. Therefore, it is imperative that we teach him or her how to communicate best with reporters.

Let’s face it, it’s not easy for most techies to come down from their high cloud of Mbps, throughput, platforms, solutions and integrated, interoperable patch panels, but if you’re going to talk to a reporter, you have to put it in a language we all understand – English.

The reason a corporate spokesperson or press release writer at a company needs to speak this very basic language is because the audience, while certainly tech-savvy, went to journalism, not engineering school. They are the gatekeepers to the audience you ultimately want to reach – potential customers and partners. But you must get through them first, and if they can’t understand a word you say, they might nod politely, but you will not reap the rewards of their pen.

To illustrate how far the jargon-world has gone, I pulled a few quotes from recent press releases off PR Newswire. Observe.

“Bottom line, these test results exceeded all of our expectations,” stated <>. “The performance in terms of throughput and latency met our most stringent network requirements and it is the first Ethernet Wireless Platform to match our QoS requirements for the delivery of voice, video and data services to the end users.”

And another poor soul…

“Our FTTP and FTTN solutions provide operators with the flexible platform they need to economically drive additional revenue now while providing a seamless migration path for the future.”

Now, while I actually understand what these people are trying to communicate (my nerdish tendencies are showing, I realize), it is clear to me that these people need HELP! Most technology company executives think that their news releases, pitch letters and press statements are going directly to the engineers who might buy their product and actually understand what they are trying to say.

They are sorely mistaken.

The purpose of any public relations piece is to get a reporter to call you for an interview. That’s it. It’s not your opportunity to tell the entire world the innermost workings of your company or product. It is not your opportunity to wax eloquently on all the virtues of how this silicon chip is going to revolutionize the semiconductor industry for decades. Keep your mind focused on the purpose of these communication pieces.

One quick rule of thumb is to let your 80-year-old grandmother read your press release. If she can understand it and grasp why this news is important to the world, then you have succeeded. If her eyes glaze over and she asks you to get her a cocktail, it’s time to go back to the drawing board.

Another tip is to stay away from words that are so overused that they no longer have any real meaning. The top picks for this category include words like “solution,” “revolutionary,” “world-class,” “best-of-breed” and quickly climbing the ranks … “elegant.” Every company thinks it has the best solution and a revolutionary way of approaching a problem. Also, most tech reporters are still nursing snakebites from the last time they wrote about a company that was “revolutionizing” something and closed their doors soon thereafter, so the fact you are touting to do the same scares them a little.

Just remember that the proof is in the proverbial pudding, so make sure you speak in clear terms that do not over-hype the value you bring to the market. Ask yourself what sets you apart. Why is your company or product better – in real terms? Do I have customers or partners that will validate what my company does?

One other really good practice is to come up with juicy sound bites long before you get an interview with a live reporter. These are phrases that sound like an actual person speaks. They clearly communicate the value (not the speeds and feeds) of your company and product. Here are a few examples of quotes to get your brain going.

“When Santa brings little Johnny a new Web-enabled phone this Christmas, we’ll make sure he’ll be safe to surf.”

“When someone dials 911, they need to know someone will be able to find them – even if they’re on an IP phone. Let’s face it, it could be the difference between life or death, literally.”

“When a doctor needs to download an MRI file, he usually doesn’t have time to wait forever. That’s why we make sure hospitals are equipped with cabling that can handle these kind of large file transfers. It’s just the right thing to do.”

After reading those, you probably can figure out what the companies do in general terms and the value each brings to the market.

If you have trouble learning how to translate technology jargon into plain English, there is no need to fear. Just hire a translator who can understand what your company does, how best to communicate your value and one that can help craft messages to guide you as you learn how to use this wonderful new language. It won’t hurt much; we’ll even speak slowly.

Learning to think big.

By Pam Watkins

The tremendous growth, influence and success of the United States have always been results of innovation. In the most recent past, technology innovation and leadership have been at the center of our continued success. And not just in commercial terms. The U.S. military is the most powerful force in the world not because we have more troops than any other country. We don’t. It is because we have more sophisticated technology than any other military in the world.
Being the most powerful and wealthy country in the world is not an entitlement we deserve but one to be earned and to keep earning. Our position is not guaranteed. Other countries are catching up and will rival our leadership position sooner than you may think.

How will we maintain our leadership position and high standard of living? Education is the answer. To maintain our competitive edge, we need to make sure that we are developing new generations of creative thinkers with the vision to develop new ideas and new products. We must support learning and creative thinking through the use of all our arts and cultural resources during early childhood. These are powerful tools that engage kids and help them become creative thinkers and the innovators of tomorrow. No industry should be more concerned and focused on this issue than the technology industry.

Supporting the continued development of innovative thinkers goes well beyond providing schools with free or favorably priced hardware and software. It goes beyond providing more calculus classes at the high school level or engineers to volunteer at the local schools. These are all valuable and important only if we have developed students who can take full advantage of them. Arts and cultural programs in schools have been cut at alarming numbers over the years. It should be no surprise that we are struggling to stay innovative and creative as a country. The biggest challenge for anyone sharing this concern is knowing where to begin to help.

Several programs across the country are engaging children through arts and cultural programming and are producing meaningful and measurable results. One of the finest is in Dallas. Big Thought, A Learning Partnership, is dedicated to academic achievement, youth development and family learning through arts and cultural programming. It provides programming and training to schools, administrators, teachers, libraries and community centers across North Texas, and the programs pay off in improved academic achievement.

Don’t make the mistake of believing that more hours in math or science or history will produce better results. Repeating the same activity again and again in anticipation of a different result is often called insanity. So, the next time you look at the programs in your local schools, make sure arts and cultural programming are integrated into the curriculum. If you want to find out more about what is possible and what is working, go to www.bigthought.org or drop me an e-mail.
The future of technology-and our country’s leadership-depends on thinking like this, thinking big. It’s high time we start.

Play to Win. Now.

By Mike Crawford

Those who follow sports know the big difference between a team that’s playing to win versus one that’s playing not to lose. The team trying to win is aggressive and proactive. It creates the action rather than waiting for the action to come to it. This allows the team to determine its own success. Conversely, the team playing not to lose hunkers down and just hopes the other guys screw up. With this passive approach, victory is not determined by the team’s ability, but by the opponent’s inability.

Advertising and public relations are critical to your company’s success. You cannot afford to sit back passively and wait for your customers to begin placing orders before you start an aggressive marketing communications program. And now is the time, as you’re planning next year’s budget, to commit to that plan.

If you truly want to increase your sales for next year, then include an advertising schedule in your budget. It’s that simple. There are so many reasons to advertise. If you don’t believe me, call me, and I’ll be happy to share them with you in person.

A public relations program for next year can help educate your target audiences on new products and services while supporting your sales process. It’s also a great way to increase your company’s credibility in the marketplace.

Other programs, like developing database and direct marketing campaigns are effective ways to move your audience. These vehicles allow you to be more aggressive and thorough in your messages to increase your response rates. These programs have another key benefit. They allow you to stay in front of your target audience and be a part of the buying decision.

Finally, do not forget to include Internet marketing in next year’s budget. Currently, it’s the best lead generation tool available. Your website design needs to be interesting, inviting and captivating. It is critical that your website content be thorough and keyword-rich. We have talked about Search Engine Optimization (SEO) in previous issues of the Technique newsletter, specifically here, but the topic merits further discussion. As you’re planning the 2006 budget, be sure to include funds to get your company on page one of search results when your prospects are searching online for a product or service like yours.

Remember, there are three types of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. To succeed, you need to be in the first group. You need to play to win. That starts today – while planning your 2006 advertising and public relations budget.

Blogs, Part 3 – The Final Conflict!

By Steve Plunkett

In Part 1 of this three-part Technique series, we covered the basics of blogging – the definition, history, shapes and sizes of blogs.

In Part 2, we covered the dos and don’ts of blogging.

If you haven’t read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series, I highly recommend that you do. They will get you up to speed for this article, and reading the entire series will make your first foray into the Blogosphere a lot easier.

So why have I mentioned that Part 1 and Part 2 are necessary, and why do I keep making links back to them?

Because in Part 1, you’ll get an idea about the format and style of your blog-to-be. In Part 2, you’ll learn from the mistakes of others before you start building your own. In other words, with this information in hand, you’ll have a leg up on other first-timers.

As far as building links back to the first two articles goes, you’ll just have to trust me. It’s an Internet thing.

Building a Blog.

The fastest way to really “get” blogging is actually to start your own. Just click on one of the FREE BLOG links below, and, in five minutes or less, you can start pouring your thoughts and interests all over the Internet. By the way, the five-minute timeframe is a Blogger™ claim and seems to be true with its tool. (Hint: FREE BLOG.)

Want to see what a standard blog looks like? Check out the M/C/C Public Relations Blog http://publicrelationsfirm.blogspot.com/. This page was created on Blogger http://www.Blogger.com. One particularly interesting feature of Blogger comes thanks to its parent company, Google. With Blogger, posting news articles and other webpages of interest is fast and easy. Simply click the “Blog” button on your Google Toolbar http://toolbar.Google.com. Voila, you’ve instantly posted content from the webpage you’re visiting! Also, Blogger has introducted a new plug-in for Microsoft Word that allows you to blog from directly from any Word document. That’s a great tool for posting memos or press releases – after you’ve spellchecked them, of course.

It seems everyone is following Google these days, doesn’t it? Not to be outdone, Yahoo!, AOL and MSN are also getting into the Blogosphere, trying to capture your attention with blogging space and tools. AOL users can click here to start blogging. http://peopleconnection.aol.com/journals Yahoo! users can visit Yahoo! 360 here. http://360.yahoo.com/ If you prefer Microsoft and MSN, give theirs a go. http://spaces.msn.com/

Another blogging tool I recommend is Type Pad. I use it on my personal blog but, since this is a work-related article, I won’t publish that address here. (See the Dos and Don’ts of blogging in Part 2.) Once you’ve signed up at http://www.sixapart.com/typepad/, you can download a plug-in that allows you to simply right-click on the webpage you wish to blog and select “TypePad QuickPost” which logs you into your blogging account where, unlike Blogger, you can categorize your posts into categories like Sports, Books, Music and Film. Personally, I would move all my blogs to this system but I like keeping my private and work-related blogs as separate as possible. However I think this is one of the best FREE BLOG systems out there.

From the same publisher as Type Pad you have two other options, primarily for enterprise-wide blogging capabilities, Moveable Type http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ and LiveJournal http://www.sixapart.com/livejournal/. Moveable Type is a full-scale, business-oriented, multi-user blogging tool for large organizations with multiple blogs. Generally speaking, Moveable Type is the best choice for interconnected blogs that function very similar to Intranet/Extranet-type SQL databases. Moveable Type now has many simple-to-use features that previously required supervision by an administrator with some type of IT background. Also designed for multiple bloggers, Live Journal began in March 1999 as a database of journal posting that was modified to allow other people to post to one person’s online journal. While neither Moveable Type nor Live Journal is the popular choice for today’s average blogger, they hold a lot of promise for future work environments. As employees continue to learn more about Internet workings, companies will capitalize on these types of tools for better collaboration and more efficient workflow.

WordPress is another FREE BLOG tool; however, it requires installation on a Web server. First, you need to decide whether you want to install additional software on your server, and if so, whether you have space available for it. With other, simpler options available, I’d advise beginners to steer clear of WordPress, but feel free to check it out at http://wordpress.org/.

Other FREE BLOG tools include BlogSource http://www.BlogSource.com/, Bloxster http://www.bloxster.net/, Blog City http://www.blog-city.com/bc/, Tongue Wag http://www.tonguewag.com/, JournalSpace http://www.journalspace.com/, DiaryLand http://www.diaryland.com/, Diary-X http://www.diary-x.com/ and Xanga http://www.xanga.com/, which is very popular overseas with underage bloggers. For the ultra-targeted blog, Faces.com http://www.faces.com/ primarily focuses on sharing photos so if your business is photography, this might be a good choice.

With all the different blogging tools, you’re probably wondering which one is best. It really depends on your needs. Moveable Type is a great collaborative blogging tool. The same goes for Blogger. However, the majority of the tools mentioned above are for single-person use. Beyond basic needs, your blogging choice will come down to personal preference. My best recommendation is to try several. It won’t cost you anything. After all, the ones I’ve listed are free.

Now, happy blogging!

Fear this. Now buy something.

By Todd Brashear

It was one of those awkward career moments – the creative, 25-year-old copywriter going to lunch with his very conservative, 45-year-old supervisor. Despite having worked there for months, I had not spoken with my boss about anything but work. He was a nice guy, just very unlike me. Anyways, the food was good, but the conversation was starved for any common interest to discuss. Eventually we settled on work matters when he shared with me what he believed was the secret to all good advertising.

He said it boiled down to one of two things: Fear or greed. His theory was that if you got past all the fancy jingles, the Hollywood special effects, the cute shots of kids and puppy dogs, the sexy images of bikini-clad beer babes and even the high-minded artsy concepts, any good ad motivated its audience to act based on fear or greed.

At the time, I disagreed. Silently. To myself. He was my boss after all, and I was the lowest person on the food chain. So I just nodded and absorbed. But in reality, I was too idealistic to believe it. I still am. For the most part, I believe the opposite is true. I believe that most bad advertising is so hollow in thought that it resorts to fear or greed as an easy fix. Sure, there are plenty of ads based on these feelings, but that doesn’t mean they’re always effective selling tools, particularly when the product has nothing to do with safety or money. In fact, I believe their prevalent usage has made them ineffective, possibly harmful to the advertiser and even society as a whole.

For the sake of this column, let’s just focus on fear.

Since the earliest days of American capitalism, fear has been used and abused as a primary selling tool. Whether it was the 1800s snake oil salesman promising a cure for everything under the sun, or the current TV commercial that shows minivan after minivan crashing into a concrete wall, the fear factor is a powerful one. But enough already. Please.

I really started to think about this in early 2002. It had been about five months since 9/11. And roughly 5,000 ads that began with the same phrase: “In this post-9/11 world…” Each occasion was a subtle reference intended to invoke fear in the audience member’s mind. Each utterance a psychological trick intended to soften the brain for the big sales pitch. And in my personal opinion, each reference was a disrespectful way for the advertiser to profit from the tragedy.

Most advertisers who used this ploy had nothing to do with international terrorism. America didn’t need a reminder about 9/11 before hearing a sales pitch about a burglar alarm or a life insurance policy or even the commemorative coin that depicted the events of 9/11, complete with burning buildings.

To me, these were the ultimate in unsavory business practices, capitalizing on the deaths of innocent people. And these ads were mixed in with the others – buy this or risk becoming a social outcast, use this or look funny, drive this and avoid certain maiming or death, etc. Fear, fear and more fear. And somehow, America has not risen up and demanded an end to this manipulative advertising.

The problem is, when so many advertisers use fear so frequently, people will react in one of two ways. They’ll either start living in a state of constant fear or they’ll just start tuning out all of these “the sky is falling” tricks. Neither is good for society, capitalism or the long-term marketability of any product – except perhaps guns, canned goods and duct tape.

So it’s not only a question of effectiveness; it’s a question of ethics. As advertisers and advertising professionals, we’re all in the media business. We all contribute to society’s voice. And we must be able to differentiate between work that makes us proud to see and hear in the public forum and the stuff that doesn’t.

So, in this post-9/11 world, I urge all people in the post-9/11 world to please stop using the post-9/11 world – or other unnecessary fear tactics – with the intention to move a few more products.

Or else you may find yourself in a post-Chaper 11 world.

There’s no cookie cutter for serving customers right!

By Shannon Sullivan

As a full-service marketing communications agency, we get to work with clients that span a rainbow of sizes and technologies. Small, emerging startup companies. Medium-sized, well-established businesses. Large, multinational corporations or divisions of mega-corporations that dominate their market. One thing we’ve learned over the years is that each company requires the same level of service – high – but a company’s place in its lifecycle largely determines how that service should be delivered. This is important to keep in mind whether you’re reviewing your current agency relationship or considering a new one.

Small, but scrappy

“Small,” “startup,” “emerging” – however you label these companies, one thing is consistent. They need to hit the ground running fast and generate a slew of results to satisfy demanding investors. The pressure is enormous, and usually, these companies are positioning themselves for an initial public offering or to be acquired. For effective marketing, they also have difficult challenges to overcome. Namely, they often have few if any customers who will go on record for them, no revenue and sometimes products that are still in development. On occasion, all they have is a good idea and a round of funding to flesh it out.

For the marketing communications function, a company like this usually has one person who must juggle all the responsibilities for trade show participation, media relations, analyst briefings, advertising and all the marketing communications materials. These include brochures, the website, data sheets, case studies (for the customers they do have) and even the signage at the front door.

When this kind of company retains an agency, it needs a firm that, first and foremost, doesn’t mind getting in the trenches with them. To meet pressing marketing demands right from the start, the agency must work with very little input about the company, the industry and the people they’ll work with. Fast turnaround on projects and good results with public relations campaigns are expected, or heads will roll – usually, their own.

Also, because the world is spinning so fast for these companies, they need a partner that can bring them back to reality a bit, advise them on the best way to reach their customers (be that through advertising, direct marketing or media/analyst relations) and someone to help them champion the work through their internal food chain to get approval for the campaign.

Large, but scrappy wannabe

Dinosaurs are large, powerful and dominant, but no company wants to be one. Why? Because they are extinct, of course. While most large companies enjoy dominating a market, losing touch with their customers and falling from that pedestal is what keeps them up at night. Extinction is both a nightmare and a possibility.

These companies typically are well-staffed for marketing communications and have generous budgets to accomplish their goals. The challenge, then, is a bit more intuitive. Typically, they just don’t know what to do or how to do it. Or they have spent a little too much time drinking the company Kool-Aid and really couldn’t tell you why anyone buys their product… just that they do and that it’s the best product out there. Or even worse, they’ve just been doing the same thing for the last twenty years, so why change now?

At the same time, these companies look for new agencies for some reason. Most often, they want to hit the “refresh” button on their business image, or perhaps a new competitor is giving them a run for their money and their customers. They need a skilled doctor that can help give them a face-lift, a tummy tuck and better communication skills to keep the market share they fought so hard to win in the first place.

Because the marketing people have long been assimilated into their corporate culture, an outside perspective can be a breath of fresh air. Conducting customer research, hearing creative communication ideas or having a simple marketing piece executed quickly can be a much-needed shot in the arm. Just because large companies are infamous for their slow pace doesn’t mean they will not appreciate quick action and results from their agencies. In fact, an agency that responds more swiftly often can be a lifesaver when the contact is in a pinch.
A larger company also needs to make sure its agency understands nuances between it and its parent or holding company. Often, corporate communications requires very specific and consistent messaging, procedures and style guides. An agency must be able to bring fresh ideas and creativity while respecting the guidelines established by the larger corporation.

The bottom line

Regardless of your company’s size, it definitely can benefit from strengthening customer relationships through marketing communications. The questions you need to answer before selecting an agency are: Do I like the team I will work with? Do I trust them to make recommendations that will get us the best results? Are they going to follow-through and do whatever it takes to achieve the goals we have set? And perhaps most importantly, do they understand what my company needs from a service aspect? If you can answer positively to all of those questions, it sounds like you are on your way to a successful agency relationship.

You Might Tick Off a Reporter If…

By Stephanie Berlin

In the business world, we tend to treat our customers and our products as if they were our children. We dress them up, take them out and show them off to the world. And as proud parents, we think that everything our children do is newsworthy and that we simply must share it with everyone we know (“Oh Stacy! Johnny did the cutest thing today!”), much as we feel that everything that happens with our companies, customers or products should be front-page news.
Unfortunately, the world – and the media – has a completely different idea of what is newsworthy. And just as showing a friend the 19 finger paintings little Johnny did at pre-school can annoy them (shock! I know), pestering a reporter with every little thing can lead to similar results.

So now, I channel my inner Jeff Foxworthy and present: “You Might Tick Off a Reporter If…”

You might tick off a reporter if… you call 27 times a day to make sure he got your fax or e-mail (out of the 200 he got that day).

You might tick off a reporter if… you insist yours is “the biggest story of the year” and demand that she cover the event (and then post the article on her refrigerator).

You might tick off a reporter if… the person you listed as a contact is unreachable by phone, fax, e-mail, satellite, X-ray, etc.

You might tick off a reporter if… you promise to send follow-up information and then don’t (reporters don’t care if you forgot, really).

You might tick off a reporter if… you send a release that is full of jargon or one that looks like it was run over by a truck, made into a paper airplane and eaten by your dog. Reporters can’t read these.

You might tick off a reporter if… you lie, send false information or provide him with information that hasn’t been updated since 1986.

You might tick off a reporter if… you ask to review the article before it goes to print (reporters won’t fall for the ol’ “I need to fact-check it” standby).

You might tick off a reporter if… you call her when she asked you to e-mail. We know you have Internet access from work, home, your cell phone, your PDA and your BlackBerry, so why can’t you just follow instructions?

You might tick off a reporter if… you call him three days after his deadline. He won’t buy that your car somehow slipped into the space-time continuum. Reporters work in real-time (and reality).

You might tick off a reporter if… you turn an interview into a sales pitch. Reporters have been hit with more sales pitches than insomniacs watching television at 3 a.m. They’ve heard it all and seen it all, and they don’t want it.

So, have you ticked off a reporter? Chances are, you have. By bringing on a partner, such as M/C/C, who understands reporters, you can avoid ending up as another deleted e-mail or crumpled fax. As a former reporter who has dealt with repetitive phone calls, misleading information and jargon-filled press releases, I offer this token of advice. Learn this list. Love it. Live it. Hang this list in your office (or on the fridge next to Johnny’s finger-paint replica of the Mona Lisa), because a happy reporter means better and more accurate coverage for you or your customers.