The Top 6 List
By Phillip Barnhard
On June 21, summer officially begins, and sweat starts reappearing in areas it hadn’t since September. While the summer sun scorches, your taste buds crave something cool. This June, the Top 6 List indulges in the best of summer snacks.
6. Shaved Ice Sno-Cones
I felt it was important to specify shaved ice rather than the mildly-crushed-that-requires-further-crushing- with-your-sensitive-teeth ice. For inquiring minds, shaved ice was created by the same geniuses that split the atom. They were on a lunch break, and as one scientist was pulling icy shards from his inner cheek after a routine sno-cone stop, another suggested putting the atom-shaver to good use. Thus, shaved ice was born.
5. Fresh Lemonade
I’d like to take this time to thank all of the parents over the years that have purchased 40 lemons, a bag of sugar and posterboard for a sign that reads, “Fresh Lemonade $0.25.” I also want to thank those same moms and dads for being overcharged by their children for watered-down, over-sugared lemon drink and consuming every drop in front of your kid’s very eyes after no customers showed up.
4. Character Popsicles
As an adolescent, the most exciting part of my day was waiting to hear the melodious anthem of “The Entertainer” or “Pop Goes the Weasel” blaring out of a tattered speaker attached to an old laundry truck. The ice cream man cometh. I’d hurdle a garden of lawn gnomes just to wave down the white jalopy. Once staring at a wall of frozen delights, I couldn’t help but dedicate all my attention to my favorite cartoon characters immortalized in popsicles. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Simpsons and the Looney Tunes awaited my small fingers to pry open the packaging and reveal which character it might be. And the bonus: gum balls for eyes.
3. Slurpee
Sure, you can get 7-Eleven’s slurp-filled sensations anytime you want, but summer is your best bet for a slurptastic good time. If you combine a wild cherry Slurpee with sub-40-degree temperatures, you are in for a world of icy pain, my friend. Save that brain pain for long summer commutes and road trips.
2. Klondike Bar
What would I do for a Klondike Bar? Well, you see that box of 2008 receipts saved for my pending tax audit? Consider them shredded. And you know that pair of safety scissors I saved from my elementary years? I’d cut my hair with them. Does that answer your question, Klondike?
1. Jell-O
Not that the winter months forbid gelatin or pudding consumption, but for some reason, the cool embrace of Jell-O always goes down smoother on a hot summer day. Jell-O might own the rights to dessert items allowed at summer events. I mean, how often do you go to a church picnic, family reunion, Fourth of July celebration or backyard barbecue that’s absent of the usual suspects – banana pudding, ambrosia or the ubiquitous Jell-O mold with assorted free-floating fruit?
E-mail the author: Phillip Barnhard
